VC Truisms

A little whimsy: VC Truisms as seen on my twitter stream.

  • VC mantra (RT @jeffpulver) "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." - Mark Twain
  • VC quote (negative and jaded reaction to your deal): "Meh!"
  • Python would say (or sing, thanks Spamalot), Venture Capitalists Are Not Dead Yet
  • Not enough VCs know that management is the optimization of resources, but entrepreneurship is the optimization of opportunity.
  • VC Dx: ADHD (Venture Capital Diagnosis: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)
  • VC musing: 2009 will be the year of VCs acting irrationally... or is it that the last few years were irrational and we finally woke up
  • Q: How many VCs does it take to change a light bulb? A(4): Lightbulbs? Let me tell you about my latest solar LED renewable blah blah deal.
  • Q: How many VCs does it take to change a light bulb? A(3): That's what associates are for.
  • How many VCs does it take to change a light bulb? A(2): That's what management is for.
  • Q: How many VCs does it take to change a lightbulb? A: VCs don't change light bulbs ... they invest in technology that makes bulbs obsolete.
  • VC worry at the economic deluge: a flood is not a very selective tool for pruning (thanks Ken Fasman)
  • VCs and Mark Twain both: reports of our death have been greatly exaggerated; and there are many reports of VC's death circulating today!
  • Dogbert was a VC? "I need a job where my immense ego seems normal." (He choose to be a doctor instead: http://tinyurl.com/8lr8ck)
  • Current VC reality: the price of liquidity has gone to infinity
  • Shakespeare was a VC? To do B's or not to do B's, that is the question (certainly that is the question right now!)
  • VCs used to make decisions by flipping coins. We stopped carrying coins during the 2000 tech bubble. Bad decision making ensued :)
  • VC discomfort... When, after a long period with no exits, the abbreviation VC now stands for Venture Constipation
  • VC question of the month: WTF?
  • VC truism: we never make bad investments; we make good investments that sometimes go bad (corollary to http://tinyurl.com/4wf7jo)
  • VC truism: the moment we make the investment is the moment we love the deal the most.
  • VC Truism: being told we have no vision is no way to win our hearts (or an investment) ... whether or not it is true.
  • VC Truism: After 90 minutes in a VC meeting everything has been said, but not everyone has said it.
  • VC Truism: All models are wrong; some models are useful
  • VC Truism: Despite behavior to the contrary from us VCs, we do know it’s hard to learn by talking (from Paul Flanagan)
  • VC Truism: Like poker, it’s not about the hands you don’t play, it’s about the hands you do play. No-one went broke folding before the flop.
  • VC truism: For better or worse, VCs do not sign NDAs
  • VC pitch: it's not about the highest valuation, it's about the highest value.
  • VC Truism: You can't scale a mess [from Irving Wladawsky-Berger]
  • VC truism: life is too short to do business with people, or get into an investment (either making or taking), unless you can get along
  • VC truism: if success (or failure) depends on whether you get funded this quarter or next, then it is not a great investment opportunity 
  • VC truism: for VCs, the word "summer" is a verb - get your business done before
  • VC Truism: VCs have deep pockets, but short arms
  • VC Terminology: it's *my* deal if it was a winner, and *our* deal if it was a loser
  • VC Rule of Thumb: don't pay more in an A round than you expect to have to pay for the same company's B round
  • VC Truism: you can only lose 1x your money in a failed deal but a success can bring you 10x or 20x or more
  • VC truism: a spreadsheet is no replacement for sound business judgment
  • VC Truism: venture capitalists... always opinionated, sometimes right
  • VC truism (and tweet #100): problems are not about the software, or the hardware... it's the wetware (the people) 
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